(My Post About This Blew Up on TikTok – Here’s The Feedback)
I was late-diagnosed with ADHD at 38.
Vyvanse was the first ADHD medication I was prescribed after diagnosis. At first it was almost shocking how quiet my brain became. Tasks that used to feel impossible suddenly felt doable. My house was clean – I mean spotlessly clean. I was studying. I was showing up as the version of myself I had always suspected was in there somewhere.
For a while, it felt like I had finally caught up to the life I was supposed to be living.
Then the dose started climbing.
10 mg. 20. 30. 40. 50. 60. 70 mg — the maximum “allowed” in Canada.
And eventually, 70 mg felt like nothing at all.
That part was hard enough. What surprised me more was the emotional crash that came with it. I didn’t just lose a medication that worked. I lost the glimpse of who I could be when my brain cooperated. It felt like grieving a version of myself I had only just met.
I made a TikTok about this experience a few days ago. The comments flooded in. Hundreds of them. And almost every single one said some version of the same thing:
“Same.”
“This is exactly what happened to me.”
“I’ve been chasing that feeling ever since.”
Watch my TikTok video here! (Please follow me there as well)
GreaterSelf.net is fully reader supported. As an Amazon Associate, I earn on qualifying purchases at no cost to you. Thank you for supporting my writing.

The Pattern Is So Common
A huge number of people described the same arc:
- The first few months (or even the first year or two) felt life-changing
- The dose kept needing to go up
- Eventually it plateaued or stopped working the way it used to
- Then came the grief of missing that high-functioning version of themselves
Some people hit the wall at 40 or 50 mg. Others, like me, maxed out at 70. A few mentioned that the brand-name version worked better than the generic. Several women pointed out that perimenopause seemed to change how the medication landed.
What stood out most wasn’t the pharmacology. It was the emotional weight.
People talked about crying with relief when it first started working… and then crying again when it stopped. They talked about looking around at a clean house and thinking, “This is what normal people feel like.” And then watching that feeling slip away.
One comment that stuck with me said:
“I can’t go back, now that I have experienced this life with Vyvanse. I just can’t. And that scares me.”
I felt that in my chest.

What I Do Now
I get asked this a lot, so here’s the short version.
I eventually stepped away from stimulants. It was not a clean or easy decision, and it took time to stabilize. What I rely on now is a combination of:
- Very consistent daily structure
- Targeted supplements that support focus and dopamine without the same tolerance issues
- Low dose retatrutide for impulse control
- High-protein meals
- Early morning movement
- Protecting my sleep like it’s a non-negotiable
It’s not the same as those first months on Vyvanse. I don’t get that same “everything is easy and sparkling” feeling. But I also don’t get the crash, the tolerance treadmill, or the grief of watching it fade.
What I have now is steadier. More sustainable. And, most days, good enough in a way that actually lasts.
I’m still figuring things out as I go – that’s the reality of ADHD management – but I’m no longer chasing a peak that keeps moving further away.

You’re Allowed to Grieve It
If this happened to you, you are not broken. You are not “bad at medication.” You are not alone in the grief of it.
A lot of us got a short, bright window of what life could feel like with a quieter brain… and then had to figure out how to live without that window again.
That is a real loss. It deserves to be named.
If you’re currently in the middle of this experience – still increasing the dose, still hoping the next refill will bring the magic back, or already sitting in the flat place after it stopped working – I see you.
You’re allowed to miss the version of yourself that felt easy for a while.
And you’re allowed to build something steadier on the other side.
-Mere Penny
You May Also Like
Most ADHD Advice Is Noise: What Actually Works on Your Worst Days
Walking: My Secret Weapon for Dopamine, Cravings & ADHD Clarity
Retatrutide for ADHD: How Peptides Helped Quiet My Food Noise, Boost Focus & Make Routines Stick
The 4:30 a.m. Decision That Changes Everything (Even If You Hate Mornings)
Creatine for Women: Muscle Preservation, Brain Benefits & Why I Take It Daily
Follow Me on Facebook
Join me over on GreaterSelf where I share daily encouragement, quick tips, and behind-the-scenes moments from my ADHD fitness journey.